Desklamp
by JustMe3
Summary: Hermione's relaxing weekend is turned upside down when she's left to take care of a "small dilemma". it'll make more sence when I add more chapters. Just give it a try.
1. How small a dilemma?

Disclaimer: you don't actually think I own anything creative, do you?

Chapter 1

Hermione turned over in bed. She peeked out from under her blankets. Afternoon sunlight spilled through her open window. It was to late to hear the morning birdies chirping her wake up call. Instead the midday traffic roared through the streets outside. She looked at her clock. 2:00pm.

She was probably the only one in the neighborhood still in bed. But then she was also probably the only one who hadn't slept in the past 72 hours because they'd been investigating a possible death eater attack in Berlin. Very disappointing to find out it was just a bunch of teenagers acting out to call attention to their evil little cult. Even though the young wizards were put away for sometime, she was let down to learn they weren't real death eaters. Even though Voldemort had been destroyed years ago, a few of his followers still subsist here and there trying to recreate the terror that existed when their leader was around. 

That's what Hermione's division at the ministry was for. She combed the world hunting dark lord wanabes. But for the next few days her weekend was planned to be nothing but sleeping in and maybe catching up on some paperwork. A nice, relaxing weekend involving zero excitement 

Hermione slumped off the bed, her blankets wrapped around her, clutching them closed at her chest. She shuffled over to the window to close it, her eyes still closed and ready for more precious sleep. Had her eyes been open, she would have seen the owl and moved out of the way before it flew right into her and knocked her off her feet. She lay crumpled in a ball of blankets for a few seconds trying to comprehend what just happened. She pushed herself up and gazed around her bedroom. The owl sat on her bed wearing an expression as though to say "What the heck are you doing on the floor there while I'm lounging about on this big beautifully comfy cloud of a bed?" 

She used up all her strengthen to keep herself from lunging at the bird and instead, took the letter from it. She noticed the seal on the envelope. From the Ministry. Great.

__

Hermione

I'm so sorry to disturb you however we have a small dilemma with which I require your immediate assistance. I'll give you a cookie.

_Remus_

"You must be joking," she said aloud. The owl was looking at her again, only this time it was saying "Yeah, it must really suck, having to go in to work because you boss can't handle a small dilemma without you even though you haven't slept in three days now if you'll excuse me I have to sour through the spring air, breathing in the lovely scent of flowers and raindrops because now that I've delivered your message I'M off duty until I decided to return to my owner."

Hermione trudged up and up the endless staircases of the Ministry building. Years of being in Auror training and then fighting off dark wizards had her in the best shape of her life and yet she couldn't imagine the climb up Mt. Everest to be much harder than this. 'Not allowing people to apparate in this place is just cruel,' she thought to herself. She finally reached the floor she was looking for. She never checked what floor she was on, she figured it would take to long to read the whole number. Once she'd caught her breath she made her way to her office. 

Hermione had managed to acquire the best office on the floor. She had an enormous room to herself with a fireplace, sofa, little kitchen area and the biggest view she'd ever seen. She wasn't certain but she was pretty sure she could see all the way to Hogwarts from her office. She loved it. Her workload, however, often prevented her from enjoying the luxuries. After graduating top of the class and with the highest scores in a long history of 'top of the class' people, mountains of work was sent to her desk. She looked at the pile of work on her desk. Looked at it, didn't touch it. This was her weekend OFF. Whatever this little dilemma was, she'd handle it and go home. 

"There you are," she heard her boss's voice behind her. She turned to face him, her old professor. She'd always felt guilty about discovering that he was a werewolf in third year. Working for him definitely made up for it. A few days during and after the full moon he was usually out and being much older than he used to be, the lycanthrope seemed to be catching up with the rest of him and he was often out sick, leaving Hermione to run the whole department alone. She didn't mind, she loved her work and her boss never gave her a hard time so it was hard to complain. Well, usually.

"Look, you pulled me out of some very important "me" time, so whatever this dilemma is, let's just deal with it, okay?" she said as politely as she could.

"How was Berlin?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh, it was FUN. I took fingerprints, pictures, spoke to all the rude people in the neighborhood and studied practically every object big enough to look at for evidence only to find that the whole thing had been caused by a bunch of angry seventeen year olds." she said with a very uncharacteristically sarcastic tone. 

"Sounds exhausting." She was getting tired of his playfulness. 

"Pro-fesser, I'd REALLY like to get home and get some sleep. I CAN'T believe you asked me to come in after that long trip but since I'm already here, would you PLEASE just tell me what this small dilemma of yours is?"

"Certainly." He turned and walked back to his office. She followed. He turned to her with a smile on his face. He turned the knob and pushed the door open. "That's the small dilemma."

Hermione peered in. On top of his very organized desk was a tiny baby girl cuddled up in some soft blankets. Hermione just stared, wide-eyed. 

And that's the first chapter. Sorry if it was boring but it'll get better as I write more. At least I hope it will. Let me know if you liked it AT ALL. Thanks for reading!


	2. Can we be Serious?

Chapter 2

A baby. On Remus J. Lupin's desk. In the middle of the Ministry of Magic's main headquarters. A baby. Hermione wasn't quite sure how to react to that. After all, there are several different ways. 

The Molly Weasley Reaction:

"Oh my goodness!" 

"She's so adorable!" 

"What's her name!" 

"Where ever did you find her!"

"Is she warm enough?"

"Isn't that just the cutest nose you've ever seen?"

"Why, I remember when my (insert a Weasley's name HERE) was this age. He/She was always…(insert embarrassing habit of child's infancy HERE)

Or perhaps you fancy the Severus Snape Approach:

Lip curled

Sneer on face

Back turned

Proceeds to walk away

Hermione's Reaction?

"whuh…"

"whuh…"

"whuh…"

And of course Ol' Moony just stood by quite amused. He was about to begin an explanation when they heard another Marauder approaching. They knew it was him because he didn't wait until he was in the room to begin talking to them. He'd start up a conversation while down the hallway, still approaching the office.

"You know Moony, if they insist on not allowing us to apparate, can't they at least swallow their pride and install some of them muggle ex-alaters? It'd be much easier than…" he also stopped when he saw the center of attention on the desk. "Whoa." he stated. His eyes moved from Hermione to Lupin to Hermione and back to Lupin and a mischievous smile grew on his face. "Somethin' you guys wanna tell me?"

"NO!" they both answered. Sirius walked up to the bundle of joy confusion. "Well, she's got your eyes Lupin. But I can tell by the look of absolute disgust at the site of my face that she's got Hermione's intelligence. Why Hermione, What would Ron say?" 

"Very funny, Sirius," she said. 

"She's not mine or Hermione's," Lupin finally began to explain. "She was rescued from the wreckage of what looks like another death-eater attack." Sirius' sarcasm halted when he heard that. 

"Where?" he asked.

"Small town out in the countryside. She was the only being found, dead or alive. We don't know who she is or if she has any family."

Sirius picked up the baby and held her out in front of him. "The infant survives. No one else. How curious. Where's her lightning bolt scar?" he examined her forehead and discovered it was not there. "Well, that should make Harry happy to know he's still got the only one with one of those." He lifted the baby in the air and she started to laugh. 

"Are we sure it was death-eaters this time?" Hermione asked Lupin leaving Sirius to his play date. 

"Positive. They left a small attempt at the dark mark over the house. Not a clear one, so we know it couldn't have been Voldemort himself. Just his ever surviving, sore-losing followers."

"Didya hear that, kid?" Sirius said to the baby in a voice of exaggerated excitement. "Voldeemort's still dead! Yay!!" He stopped and looked seriously at the baby for a moment. "She needs a name." 

"She doesn't have one." said Remus irritably. 

"Weeeelll, we'll just have to fix that, won't we." Sirius spoke to the baby again. He looked around the room for ideas. Unfortunately, Remus hadn't ever put up a big framed list of baby names so, looking around the office wasn't a great approach. "What do you think baby?" The baby wasn't searching for ideas. She was reaching her little arms toward a small teddy bear that was lying on the desk. Sirius held her out forward toward the desk and her attention turned from the teddy bear to Remus' desk lamp. She picked it up and held it out to Sirius. "Aaawwwww, see that? She likes the desk lamp. She's obviously made to sit in an office all day filling out paperwork just like Unckie Remus."

"Sirius, can you just be _serious_ for a few moments? We have to figure out what to do here!" Hermione said. Sirius turned the baby to face her. He lowered his eyebrows at the cranky Hermione. 

"Oooooh, baby desk lamp doesn't like your tone. You scaaawwy when your angry." Hermione ignored him and turned back to Remus. 

"What are we to do?"

"Well, we've got people already investigating the house looking for clues so, we just have to figure out where to send the baby." 

"Well can't we send her to Social Services or something?" she suggested.

"Their run by muggles. We can't give the only found victim to a death-eater attack to muggles."

"Well there must be somebody in this building who would make an appropriate parent until this whole thing's cleared up." 

"Hermione, this building is filled with the busiest people in the whole wizard community. Those who have family's don't have room in their lives to take in an orphan and those without them don't know rattle from diaper." 

"Well than what do you suggest?" she asked.

"Well, I can't take her. The full moon's not far away and nobody was ever serious when they mentioned the notion 'raised by wolves'. I'm not about to leave her with Sirius. He can't even remember to feed his fish. Plus he just named her after office equipment. Soooo…" 

"Soooo…?"

"Soooooooooooo…"

"Oh no." 

"Come on, Hermione. I know you're supposed to have a few days off but I don't know anyone else who I can ask." Remus pleaded. 

"How about ANYONE else? I don't know how to take care of an infant!" 

"You're the cleverest witch I know. It can't be that hard for you."

"I don't have any bottles or diapers or anything like that." she mentioned desperately. 

"Don't worry. Some of the Moms in the ministry sent up some extra things for her."

"They sent up baby paraphernalia but no one volunteered to take her?" she asked.

"Nope. Infact they pretty much just knocked on the door, dropped the stuff and ran." He took the baby from Sirius and handed her to a reluctant Hermione. "You'll do fine with baby…" he glanced at Sirius and rolled his eyes, "…baby Desklamp." 

Hermione looked at the baby and the baby looked up at Hermione. Desklamp clutched a bundle of Hermione's shirt in her little fist, snuggled into her and cooed. Remus smiled triumphantly. Hermione couldn't say no. 

A/N: That's it for that chapter. Please let me know what you think. Should I keep going or chuck it out the window for the birdies to peck at?


End file.
